My Wonderful Life

By Prince Albert “Bertie”

My esteemed canine brethren, let me regale you with my happy tale. What a stroke of luck has befallen me! But let me start with the facts. I am a fawn pug of approximately nine years of age, broad of chest and slim of hips. My early years were spent on our country estate in middle England and because of my excellent breeding I was encouraged to sire many pugs. Happy days! Unfortunately due to some loss of use in my hind quarters and shortness of sight I am now advised, much to my dismay, to refrain from that activity. Then suddenly, due to reasons beyond my control, and as I am a gentleman will not repeat, I had to give up my country seat and for a short while thought I may have to enter a nursing home. It was a rather worrying time but with the help of good friends my fortune changed once again.

I now reside in my small manor house (2 bed mid terrace) in the county of West Sussex. I employ a staff of four as follows. Firstly Susan, resident housekeeper, nurse and gardener. What a lucky find, she is devoted to me, hard working and inventive. Due to my back problem I found I tended to topple over when my meals were served on the Italian marble floor (lino) so Susan designed for me an elevated dining table that works a treat. We first tried several first editions (telephone directories) but they kept slipping, a 17th century footstool (pouffe) but that was too high, then Susan suggested a medium sized terracotta pot painted in a handsome heritage green. The base we filled with sand to keep it stable and my royal Worcester dish (dogs bowl) fits perfectly. Also, because I had difficulty exiting the kitchen onto the terrace, she has built me an excellent podium (step). This was such a relief as it was such a bother having to ask to be lifted in and out and I was rather concerned that I may be dropped, even though I do have the perfect figure, I do weigh a statuesque ten kilos. Next is my man servant Samuel, Susan’s son. He plays games with me, grooms me and prepares my evening meals. Then there is Christine my chauffeur, she takes me to the vets and is helping Susan design a mobility carriage for when I get fatigued on my tours (walks). It is to be similar to a scooter with extras such as umbrella/sunshade and containers for my highland spring water and toiletry bags. They would like it to be motorised but are worried I would drive too fast; I am worried it may look like a milk float when I would prefer a Rolls Royce. I suppose a Lamborghini would be out of the question! Finally there is Frank who is my trainer, he takes me for walks and is arranging for me to have use of a hydrotherapy pool.

The gardens here are magnificent and I spend many hours with Susan whilst she tends the beds and lawn. We have a large paved terrace surrounded on two sides by herbaceous borders, a very handy Katsura tree in the centre and stables (sheds) to the right. Beyond this through rose, honeysuckle and jasmine covered arches is the circular lawn surrounded by more trees, shrubs and herbaceous plants. There are several seating areas so that we are able to sit either in sun or shade and in June when the garden is at its best we are planning a garden party with hot supper (barbecue).

I have three friends all residing in East Sussex with their housekeeper Jennifer who is Susan’s twin sister. Monty, who is an unusual looking pug, his head seems rather small but a nice chap anyway and has a super coat. Megan is a young mixed race pug, very pretty blousy blonde. Unfortunately she is in love with Monty, such a pity what fun we could have! Then there is Bella. Ah Bella! A beautiful petite black and white Shihtzu. I believe she is an oriental princess – exquisite little creature - but for some reason is a little wary of me, I cannot think why!

So you see friends, I am an awfully lucky pug and very content. I have a skip back in my step and my drooping tail now points skyward! What more could I ask for? It is a wonderful life.